How to be Ebil
by sasoku darkheart
Summary: Randomness and more randomness, time unfolds and two people die!
1. Chapter 1

_**HOW TO BE EBIL**_

Sasouku's View

Hey wazup nightshade and I think the world is too soft. So we're akatsukiatizing everyone (if that is even possible)

--

Sasoku: (wacks ruler on table) class is now in session

Nightshade: yeah so shut up fools!

Sasoku:ok………

Nightshade:…. what I was trying something new!

Sasoku: take you seats everyone!

Everyone: (finds a seat and stops talking)

Sasoku: before we begin, are there any questions?

Dosu: are there any rules?

Sasoku: (throws kunai at head) yes, rule #1…no talking without permission

Naruto: (raises hand)

Nightshade: yes naruto

Naruto: IS THERE ANY RAMEN? I LOVE RAMEN!

Nightshade: good lord boy! You're going to break my eardrums!!!!

Naruto: BUT I LOVE RAMEN SOOOOOO MUCH! (looks around for ramen)

Sasoku: can't I just kill him already?

Nightshade: sure why not, I mean it's not like we're loosing anyone important right?

Sasoku: Yeeeeaaahhhhhh, nothing ever happened…

Sasoku: (about to kill naruto)

Nightshade: WAIT! You got the last one, I want this one.

Sasoku:… alright

Sasoku: (hands Nightshade kunai)

Nightshade: no thanks I've got my own weapon (pulls foldable pocket machine gun)

Sasoku: (stares in awe at his weapon) holy snap)

Nightshade: (kills naruto by making him Swiss cheese)

Nightshade:…what?

Sasuke: It's not a rule that you die if you are stupid and loud

Sasoku and Nightsade: (looks scared at kids)

Sasoku: (sasoku Scribbles rule on rule chart)

Sasuke: ohhhhhhhh… never mind

Sasoku: before anyone else dies, let's take attendance

Sasoku: okaaaaaay… Sasuke

Sasuke: here

Sasoku: Sakura

Sakura: here

The rest of the people were orochimaru, Dosu kinuta, and Naruto uzumaki, ibiki (he wanted more torture tips), konohamaru, moegi, udon, shikamaru, choji (he was here because he was told that there was free food…which there wasn't) and neji.

Sasoku: Okay everyone's here…well except for Naruto and Dosu…but we all know what happened to them…

Everyone: heheheheheheheheh….

Sasoku:… I love this class already!!!

A few chatty minutes later…

Sasoku: The first thing about being super ebil is you have to be a swami

Everyone: What?!

Sasoku: it's true (he is obviously lying)

Sasoku: (takes out swami hat and puts it on)

Sasoku: OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMM  
Nightshade: (does same thing and says) OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHMMMMMM

Class: (slaps head but does it anyway)

Time starts to unfold and the very fabrics of time unravel

Sasoku: HOLY CRUD!!!!! I DIDN'T MEAN FOR THIS TO HAPPEN!!!!!!

Everyone: YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--

Sasoku's View

How'd you like it? I think it was a little funnier than my other story and I hoped you like it! Oh and things are going to get even crazier in the second chapter! (if _that_ is even possible)


	2. THE VOID OF RANDOMNESS

_**HOW TO BE EBIL CHAPTER 2**_

Sasoku's View

Last place we left of was when time was unfolding as the class was practicing to be a swami (How pathetic!) well let's see how bad things you can get!

--

Sasoku: this is very awkward

Nightshade: dude, tell me about it

Sakura: WHAT'S GUNNA HAPPEN! I DON'T WANNA DIE!!!!

Sasuke: I don't really care

Nightshade: great now there's another idiot in the building…or void

Sasoku: at least it's not a ramen loving one

Nightshade: thank go for that

Sasoku: we seem to have come to a fork in the void

Nightshade: were I don't see one?

Sasoku: see it's floating with a bunch of other silverware

Nightshade: oh, now I see it

Sasoku: hey there's another one… a not literal meaning one

Nightshade: which path should we take

Sasoku: I don't think we have a choice (starts drifting off into different paths)

Sasoku: holy crud! Aliens! (Aliens eat half the class)

Nightshade: YEEEESSSSS! Less people to look after!

The other people that floated of into different paths were the following:

Orochimaru

Shikamaru

Sasuke

Sakura

I shall put their adventures into different parts of the story……this shall be most interesting….

SASUKE'S ADVENTURE 

Sasuke: I don't care If I die, I mean what do I have to live up to… I mean all I do is get admired by fan girls…especially sakura, and eventually in my life itachi will kill me

Voice: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…

Sasuke: what was that?!

Voice: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Sasuke: (gradually turns around to be greeted by an robot/alien grunt)

Alien: I WILL EAT YOU…

Sasuke: OH CRUD! I change my mind! I WANNA LIVE!!!!

You here lots of screaming and yelling but I didn't want to make this a "T" rating so I didn't type what happened in the eating of sasuke…and I didn't want to type it

Alien: (burps and then disappears into the portal he came out of)

OROCHIMARU'S ADVENTURE 

Orochimaru: this seems to be some sort of portal to another world…should I take it? (Shrugs his shoulders) what the heck why not (walks through portal)

Orochimaru goes into the past back where the dinosaurs are…

Orochimaru: these beings! They are most powerful! I shall use them as my pawns in the game of survival in my new, primitive life!

Dinosaur: (gets angry)

Orochimaru: (talks like a normal person for once and says) maybe that wasn't the best choice of words.

Dinosaur: GRRRRRRRRRR… (Bites orochimaru's head off)

Orochimaru:…ow

SAKURA'S ADVENTURE 

Sakura: Oh, I'm so scared, I wish sasuke-kun was here

Well we won't mention what happened to sasuke to sakura, right?…

Sakura: I wonder if anyone's here?

Sakura: AAAAAAAAACCCCKKKKKK!!!! (Inner sakura separates from her)

Inner sakura: CHA!!! CHACHACHACHA!!!!!

Sakura: what who are you, you look an awful lot like me

Inner sakura: CHA! I'M YOUR INNER SAKURA! CHA!

Sakura: this-this is really me inside…. I'm so ashamed!

Inner sakura: CHA! IT'S ALL RIGHT SAKURA! CHA!

SHIKAMARU'S ADVENTURE 

Shikamaru: what is this place? (looks around to see lots of lazy people laying around watching TV and eating chips)

Shikamaru:…I NEVER WANNA LEAVE THIS PLACE!!!!!!!

SASOKU AND NIGHTSHADE'S ADVENTURE 

Sasoku: wow there's nothing in this place!

Nightshade: wait… what's that spec in the distance?

Sasoku: wait…. I know that figure!

Sasoku: YES!

Nightshade: NO!

Sasoku: It's a toilet!!!!!  
Nightshade: WHY!!!!!

Sasoku: Wait a minute that's not just any toilet…it's the legendary giant SUPER TOILET!!!!!

Nightshade:…GOD KILL ME!!!!  
Sasoku: I'll never get nightshade to do toilet travel again. (referring to akatsuki troubles chapter two)

Sasoku: unlessssss…

Nightshade: what is he doing now…

Sasoku: OH MIGHTY SUPER TOILET BRING US TO YOUR PRESENTS!

Nightshade: NO!!!! (he says this while he gets sucked in to the toilet)

Sasoku: Thank you oh mighty super toilet, now…FLUSH US!!!!  
Nightshade: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Sasoku: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!  
--

SASOKU'S VIEW

Giant toilets, lazy people, and robot aliens, I thought this would be crazy but not this crazy!!!!


	3. THE END OF THE VOID

_**HOW TO BE EBIL CHAPTER 3**_

Sasoku's view

Last place we left off Nightshade and were hurtling through the pipes, while orochimaru got his head bit off by dinosaurs, and sakura was so ashamed of herself that she became a Goth…Enjoy!

--

Sasoku: YAAAAAHOOOOOOOO!!!!

Nightshade: why did we have to go toilet traveling again!? Why!!!!!

Sasoku: cause it's fun man!

Nightshade: easy for you to say!

Sasoku: wow! There's the exit!

Nightshade: YES! THANK THE LORD!!!!

Sasoku and Nightshade: (plop out of the toilet)

Nightshade: where are we?

Sasoku: we're in the classroom

Nightshade: YEEESSSSSSS!

Sasoku: party pooper

Three portals open up and 1 person comes out from each portal…

Sasoku: Aliens!!!!

Nightshade: no you idiot, it's the class…well what's left of it…

Fat man: ohhhhhhh…. I had too much ice cream ohhhhhh…

Sasoku: choji! What are you doing here?!

Fat man: I'm not choji, you idiot! I'm shikamaru!

Sasoku:…oh is that my line…it's so hard to read these dang scripts…GOOD LORD BOY WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU????!!!!!

Shikamaru: I went to a dimension with lazy people and then I came out here

Sasoku: your going to have a hard time losing that…but in the mean time by geico car insurance; fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent on car insurance!… oh um wrong line…

Shikamaru: (slaps head) I'm surrounded by idiots…

Sasoku: well now that we know what that figure was…WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER ALIENS

Nightshade: classmates!

Sasoku: same thing

Goth woman: hi guys

Sasoku: I told you they were aliens!

Goth woman: I'm not an alien I'm sakura!  
Sasoku:…that's it I'm calling the police

Sasoku: (Dialing phone number) Fat people, impersonations, what's next

Sakura: I met my inner sakura, and got ashamed of myself so I became goth! God!… Oh wait I don't believe in god anymore…Nevermind

Sasoku: (Just hung up with the police) WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US THAT BEFORE!!!! NOW THE POLICE ARE COMING!

Nightshade: (pokes sasoku) uhh guys we forgot about the 3rd portal

Sasoku: MORE ALIENS

Orochimaru with no head: It's orochimaru! My head got bit off by dinosaurs

Sasoku: How did you manage _that _to happen?

Orochimaru: I tried to use the dinosaurs as pawns to destroy the Kage's but…. Well you know the rest

Sasoku: (slaps head)

Orochimaru: Maybe I could summon a new head!

Orochimaru: (summons chakra) HEAD SUMMONING JUTSU!!!!

Orochimaru: (spot where head should be is pie) I hope I don't eat myself!

Sasoku: Pie heads, Goth women, and fat people! Whats next!

Hinate: I have come to avenge naruto's death!!!

Sasoku: (knock head on wall) WHY DID I SAY THAT?! WHY!!!!!!

Police: Sasoku, who is the imposter?

Sasoku: (looks up at god)… THANK YOU!!!!

Sasoku: oh and the imposter is Hinate

Police: Hinate by the federal law you are under arrest

Hinate: I'm not the imposter, I just wanted to avenge naruto's death by killing Nightshade-kun!

Police: now you're accused for murder!!!

Sasoku: I hope this is the end!

--

Sasoku's View

Note to myself: IT'S NOT THE END! INFACT IT'S JUST THE BEGINNING!!! YAYYYY!! Hoped you liked it!


	4. The Heavenly Adventure

Chapter 3: The Heavenly adventure

Sasoku: What's going to happen next!!!!!?????

Nightshade: who knows maybe we'll all go to heaven

Mail person: Sasoku! Mails here!

Sasoku: oh, thanks butch

Sasoku: Bill,Bill,Bill,Bill, Bill, your mails here!

Bill: oh thanks, Sasoku

Sasoku: hmm, whats this?

Mail: you've won an all expense payed trip to heaven!

Sasoku: PACK YOUR BAGS WERE GOING TO HEAVEN!

Nightshade: I DON'T WANNA DIE YOUNG! (starts crying)

Sasoku: (slaps head) No you idiot were going by… how do you get to heaven without dying?

God: I'll take you there!

Sakura: I DO BELIEVE IN GOD!!!!!!!!!!

Sakura: now how do I take these piercing off…AAAAAAAHHHHHH

God: Strap your seat belts!

Nightshade: What seat belts?

God: GOD…I mean… ME! It's a figure of speech!

Nightshade: (holds up seatbelt) won't be needing you anymore

God: (pulls everyone up)

Everyone: (shirts turn into white, silk, shirts and sprout wings)

Sasoku: Why are we wearing nightgowns?

God: they're not night gowns! There silk shirts!

Sasoku: this place looks like a dump, I'm out of here

God: (punches Sasoku)

Sasoku: (who has a new black eye) I thought you were holy and didn't believe in violence!

God: I am, but that doesn't mean I can't punch!

Sasoku: Wait, is that the little idiot I think it is

Sasoku: Oh, crud, it is!!!!

Naruto: I'm gunna kill you for killing me!

-

Sasoku's View

Sasoku: that punch is still hurting!

Nightshade: that's why you don't mess with the almighty powerful person in the universe

Sasoku:…GOD IS THE ALMIGHTY POWERFUL PERSON OF THE UNIVERSE! I HAD NO IDEA

Nighshade: (slaps head)

Sasoku: until next time my fan fiction friends!


End file.
